I'm going to "maybe" myself into oblivion...

Word of the day:
ADDLE
Verb: To make or become muddled or confused.

I'm feeling unfulfilled. Work, relationships, life. I'm not unhappy by any means, but there's something missing or just not right and I don't know what it is that my life is lacking that is giving me this feeling. I've never felt unfulfilled without a relationship before, so I don't think that's it. I think it's work. I enjoy my job, and I know I have a *good* job... But maybe I was too tunnel-visioned in high school and college. Maybe if my job had nothing to do with music, but allowed me to leave work at the end of the day and do other things, I could actually be a musician outside of work, in real life. Right now, I just don't have the time or the energy to do it. I sing all day, but it's not the kind of singing I'd like to be doing. Maybe I should've been an engineer. Maybe I should try to get a job in baseball. Maybe this is just my annual I'm-feeling-restless time.

Maybe these decisions aren't up to me.

(I need to pray more.)