Truckin'

Word of the day:
KINETIC
Adj.: Of or having to do with motion; caused by motion.

My dear readers, please sit back as I tell you a quirky tale involving the New York City Metropolitan Transportation Authority, lovingly known as the MTA (or sometimes not so lovingly, with an expletive before the title). If you are not familiar with the geography of New York City, fear not, I shall provide additional details to help you picture the events as the story unfolds. All you need to know so far is that I work on the upper west side of Manhattan, and I live in Queens, which is to the east of Manhattan.

Once upon a time...

Or rather... This afternoon, I left work and hopped on the M60 bus, which picks me up a block away from my work and takes me across the city, all the way into Queens. I got on at 110th street and Broadway, which is on the west side of Manhattan. After about 10 minutes on the bus, we stopped at 125th and Amsterdam. Amsterdam is one avenue block east of Broadway. Avenues tend to be the length of about 3-4 street blocks. So at this point we're 15 blocks north and one avenue east of where we started. The bus driver began to have trouble closing the back doors. If these doors aren't closed, the bus doesn't move. So she got out, circled the bus, tried to push them closed from the outside, failed miserably, and walked off somewhere. (I still don't know where she went.) In the meantime, another M60 bus pulled up behind us, let people off, and left. By the time I'd made my way to the front of the bus and pushed my way out the front doors, yet another M60 bus had come and gone. As I got off the bus, an M100 bus pulled up. This bus wouldn't take me into Queens, but it would at least take me to the east side of Manhattan, and on the way I could possibly catch up with one of the M60 buses that had passed us.

I stayed on the M100 for about 4 avenues, waiting for the right time to make my move. Finally, at 5th avenue, I saw my opportunity. (At this point we were about halfway across Manhattan, from east to west.) We pulled up right behind the M60, I jumped out of the M100, ran up 15 feet, and watched the M60 pull away. Damn.

No need to fret, kindly readers, I refused to take no for an answer. I ran. I kept *almost* catching that M60. I'd get close, then it would pull through a yellow light, while I was forced to stop and wait for traffic. I ran from 5th avenue, past Madison avenue, Park avenue, Lexington avenue... I was starting to feel defeat creeping up on me, nipping at my heels. Alternate plans started to go through my head. I could just keep running to 2nd avenue and pay a cabbie $8 to take me over the bridge and into Queens -- but I didn't want to waste the money. I could wait for the next M60 -- but that would likely be about 20 minutes, since my original bus was probably still sitting there, unable to close the back door, and I'd have to wait for the one after that.

[Brief sidebar:]
Now, if you don't live in New York, you may be wondering, "Kristin, why are you such a dumbass? Why couldn't you just walk over the bridge?" Well, my friends, if this had been any other bridge -- the Queensboro Bridge, the Brooklyn Bridge -- I would have. Gladly. (It's nice out today.) But this is the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge, or the Artist Formerly Known As the Triborough Bridge. It basically consists of a system of bridges that connects, quite logically, three boroughs: Queens, Manhattan, and the Bronx. There is really no way to cross it without being in a vehicle. Even if there were, the distance from the Manhattan end to the Queens end of the bridge is about 3 miles.

We now return to our regularly scheduled storytelling.

So, as I was saying, I ran from 5th avenue, past Madison avenue, Park avenue, Lexington avenue, 3rd avenue, all the way to 2nd avenue. That blessed M60 was stuck at the light between 3rd and 2nd avenues, and I ran past it, making it to the bus stop well before the bus arrived. As I got on the bus, the driver said, "You didn't have to run, you had plenty of time." I laughed and replied, "I ran from 5th avenue to catch this bus." He gave me an appropriate "I think you're nuts but that's kind of impressive" look as I slid my MetroCard through the reader, quite pleased with myself.